New Comic Script in the works! Needs help with a title!
This is what I was working on when I posted the thread asking for advice on starting something.
I would like to turn this into a comic someday, but I doubt it'll happen.
I want to know what everyone thinks, and I also need help coming up with a title.
Here's what I have so far...
WARNING! CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE!
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EXT. – GALL CANYON CITY – NIGHT
The battle has been raging for days with no signs of letting up, and the constant gunfire, artillery barrages, and sonic booms of the mech suits flying overhead are a constant reminder of the carnage that the Canid and Feline militaries are inflicting on one another.
Gall Canyon City had once been a bustling town built off of the rich Endainium vein that had been struck near-by by the Canids. The city had everything a worker’s family could need; shopping centers, grocery stores, comfortable homes, etc. But, within a day of the Felines’ attack on the mine, the city had been reduced to a post-apocalyptic hellhole.
Buildings have been turned to rubble and towering infernos, the streets are nearly impassable by any type of vehicle save for a mech suit or heavy troop transport, and the dead bodies of both species, military and civilian alike, are littered everywhere. You can hardly walk without tripping over a corpse, which is exactly what Corporal Janus Muellner does as he runs across a rubble-strewn street to get to the rest of his 5-man squad that are huddled behind a partially collapsed brick wall. His gray fur - hidden underneath the dark gray helmet of his armor - is soaked with sweat and matted with dirt and mud from having not showered in the past 3 days.
A bullet buzzes by his ear – or where his ear would be if he wasn’t wearing his combat helmet - barely missing him as he vaults himself over the wall and rejoins his squad, coming to seat next to a young, golden-furred private clutching his rifle.
JANUS:
Why the hell don’t you have your damn helmet on, Private? You looking to get shot in the head or something?
PRIVATE:
No, sir! Sorry, sir!
The young canine quickly picks up his helmet from the ground on his right side and places it back over his head.
JANUS:
Anyway, the situation’s not looking too good. Our orders are to make it to the evac point…
He reaches into a small pouch on his left hip and pulls out what looks like a small GPS with a black screen. He holds it so that the screen faces the sky as he presses an oblong grey button on the side causing a green three-dimensional hologram of the city in its current state to hover a few inches above the device. A small green blip appears on the hologram outside the city, and Corporal Muellner points to it with his free hand.
JANUS:
…here. We’ve got one hour to get there and hook up with the rest of Dog Company, or we get to find our own way back to the Stations. Now, this appears to be the best route to take.
Again, using his free hand, he traces their intended route to the green blip on the hologram which causes a thin green line to connect from their current location to the blip.
JANUS:
Expect opposition! Those damn rat-eating bastards are all over this city.
The Private next to Janus grips his gun harder, a sign of his obvious fear.
PRIVATE:
But, we’re gonna have air support, right, Corp?
Janus turns off the device and places it back into the pouch from whence it came.
JANUS:
Sorry, Varkis. The Suits are getting hammered pretty badly up there, which means we’re on our own.
He notices Pvt. Varkis start to look around slightly frantic, almost as if he were surrounded, and places his hand reassuringly on Varkis’s shoulder .
JANUS:
(to Varkis)
Hey! Don’t you wig out on me now, Varkis! You’ve done damn good to get this far, and I will be damned if I’m going be the one to drag your corpse back to base.
(to the rest of the squad)
Don’t worry, guys. You stick with me, and we’ll get out of this. Now, get your shit and let’s get to the evac site. Besides…
He stands up and, using his right hand, pulls back the cocking lever on his rifle that’s located on the right side just above the hand grip.
JANUS:
…We’re too pretty to die.
As they get up and begin to move, a scruffy-looking, white-furred soldier wearing the insignia of a Sergeant presses a small button on the right jaw of his helmet causing the black visor to appear and conceal his face. Then, he speaks up.
SCRUFFY SERGEANT:
Level with us, sir. How bad are we hurting?
JANUS:
You sure you want to know that, Niktumi?
SGT. NIKTUMI:
Yes, sir. I am, sir.
They walk for a few feet in silence before Janus finally speaks up.
JANUS:
Well, our ground forces have sustained forty –five percent casualties.
NIKTUMI:
Jesus!
JANUS:
And, that was BEFORE today.
PVT. VARKIS:
And, what about the Suits, sir? What’s their percentage?
There is a pause as they keep moving.
JANUS:
Sixty-five.
PVT. VARKIS:
Holy - ! But…the Wraiths are doing all right, aren’t they? No one can touch those guys. They’re the best we got, right, sir?
No answer.
VARKIS:
Right?
JANUS:
Seven dead as of noon today.
NIKTUMI:
Seven?! But…but that’s almost half of their squad!
JANUS:
You don’t need to remind me of that, Kaz. This situation is quickly becoming FUBAR.
They walk for a few minutes. The only noise being made is of the battle going on around them in various parts of the city and their boots crunching on the debris-strewn streets.
NIKTUMI:
So…this evac site…is it a set evac point, or are we going to have to find our own transport?
JANUS:
Do you honestly think that those pencil pushin’ pussies up at Central Command are going to risk one of their precious ships in a shitstorm like this?
NIKTUMI:
Point taken, sir. So we’re heading to one of the local militia’s airfields, then?
JANUS:
Bingo. According to plans that I “acquired” from Central, there are some pretty heavy troop transports hangared there.
VARKIS:
What class are we talking about? Light “Angel” class or heavy “Warhawks”?
Janus stops momentarily and turns to looks at Varkis.
JANUS:
Sirius.
VARKIS:
Sirius class? But…but I thought those were just a rumor, sir. Still in there R&D phase, ya know?
JANUS:
Well, that’s what the “Phantom Clearance Level” documents said.
VARKIS:
Oh man! If we CAN get hold of a Sirius-Class transport, getting off this planet will be so easy! Did you know that they have the newest amenities for quarters on them? From what I’ve read, it’s like staying at the swankiest hotel every night. Full mess hall too. With gourmet provisions! A-and there shields are said to be top of the line – damn near impossible to punch through. Oh! And, they also have the most cutting edge tech put into their computers and engines. They can reach Light Speeds in less than five seconds. Plus, their side turrets use the newest tungsten shells that can punch through a Warhawk’s engine casing like a hot knife through…
Janus stops and turns to face Varkis.
JANUS:
(Interrupts)
Now hold on a second. If these things are supposed to be a secret, how do you know so much about them?
VARKIS:
Well, sir, in Basic…I was fully-trained as an Infiltrator before I asked to be made a Grunt. I hacked a lot of documents that my C.O.s, and the heads at Central for that matter, didn’t want me to see. If they knew about half of what I’ve seen, I’d probably have been executed a long time ago.
JANUS:
Okay. So, you’re telling me that you chose to be a Grunt when they were going to make you a Cyber Spook? Why in the hell would you do something that fucking stupid?
VARKIS:
Well, sir, I never really had a lot of self-confidence. I figured being a Grunt would help with that.
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